Here are my random thoughts as I get a grip on having cancer at 42 (now 49) years old. I would like to inspire hope in all of you and in myself as well as to provide a place for you to keep track of me through this ordeal.
December 31, 2008
Another year closes
December 19, 2008
And so it goes....
December 15, 2008
When a little is a lot
December 14, 2008
Update before ten
December 06, 2008
Fold 'em? Hold 'em!!
December 01, 2008
Four Hundred
It was at that time this blog was 'born' and here we are 400 posts later. The original post from February 2, 2005 was titled "The start of the end?", here is a portion:
So here I am, a 42 year old, white male and tomorrow I am having a biopsy to determine if the problems I am experiencing are ultimately diagnosed as Prostate Cancer. Grim thought indeed.
Worse case, unsuccessful treatment, or surgery and death. Best case, it's simply prostatitis (sp?) and the wonderful world of medications will cure all. I'm remaining somewhat hopeful but because of family history and the number of symptoms I have, I am fighting to remain positive. I pray a lot more than I ever have.
I worry most about my wife and young son and how they would go on? Braggadocio aside, I am her life. We are very close and literally are each others world. She lost her mom at 8, the same age he is now. Financially she will be fine because of insurance and other investments we have made over the years. But I worry about them both emotionally and psychologically. I can't imagine going on without her or him, it saddens me deeply. I pray a lot more than I ever have......
I can still feel the fear in my inner voice as I typed those words. It was a lifetime ago, so much has changed, but one thing remains the same; I still have it and it's not going away.
The last three years and ten months have brought so much change, mostly positive, happy changes. Not all have been so.
Four hundred posts, I would have never imagined I had enough to share to fill four hundred posts?
The next four years are sure to bring as much change, chaos, ups and downs as the last four. Reading post number one, and comparing it to where I am today, it almost seems like another person wrote those words.
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After last weeks chemo treatment my week was about the same. I experienced a pretty bad case of metallic tongue which kind of ruined Thanksgiving. I was also pretty run down on Wednesday night through Friday morning. Things have returned to 'normal' this week as have my taste and appetite!
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On another note Mary and I have a very dear friend in Minneapolis, Mark B. I wrote about him back on October 29th. Mark is currently in the midst on his own chemo treatment for sarcoma and he and his family need all of our prayers. So I ask that you send one their way as they could surely use our help.
November 24, 2008
What's up with you? Don't ask me.....
November 23, 2008
Looking forward to .....
Tomorrow, about twelve hours from now, I will be in the midst of chemotherapy treatment number nine. I'm feeling a bit indifferent tonight; I feel great and in fact, overall I feel better than I have in sometime. Not that I have been feeling bad, it's just I feel really good right now.
Taking advantage of weather in the 50's today we played disc golf this morning (welcome back Pete, I really missed you). Upon my return home I took advantage of the nice temperatures and my high energy level and proceeded to put up our outside Christmas lights. It only took me a few hours and I am glad that this chore is behind me. Next weekend we can focus on the inside decorations. That is, depending on the side effects from "old #9"!
I find it hard to believe that tomorrow I will be 3/4 of the way through this process. I want better results, a lower PSA number, and more, but I am a realist at the same time, and things are going extremely well. I shouldn't be greedy but I should thank God for what has happened so far in this process.
I probably say this to often but I live this terribly ironic life; I try my best to go on day after day with my head up, trying to remain positive, trying to laugh and live. All the while I carry this unbelievable burden called cancer. Not a cancer that can come, and begone in short order, but a cancer that goes on and on, unknown to most. There is nothing in my outward appearance that would even let anyone know what a cruel war is waging inside of me.
I am and will remain the commander, the General of this war - I will not be defeated without a fight. Fortunately, even after four years, the battle has just gotten underway.
November 21, 2008
Life
Life is not the way it's supposed to be.
Played disc golf this morning, 28 degrees when I left the house, but it was 45 degrees when we finished at 10:30.
November 17, 2008
Another successful year for FLHW
This year's event was a great success; a success that would not have been realized without your generosity. We were blessed with a beautiful day, a full field of golfers, and an exceptional group of volunteers.
The result of this year's event is a $32,000 donation to the Prostate Cancer Foundation (PCF). This donation will be doubled through a matching program at PCF. Furthermore, these funds will be dedicated to support research for improved treatments and a cure for advanced prostate cancer.
It is through your participation, coupled with the support of all of our sponsors, participants, and volunteers that we have, in just four short years, cumulatively donated over $100,000 to PCF for advanced prostate cancer research.
Mark your calendar now for the 2009 FLHW Tournament which is scheduled for Friday, September 25th at Ironhorse Golf Course. We look forward to seeing you there!
I extend this message of thanks to all who have supported our mission through the years!
2008 was our most successful year so far:
November 13, 2008
The Quitter
It was part of a notice posted to one on the on-line boards I monitor regarding the death of another one of my brethren. I did not know the man, nor did I recognize his name but after reading this, his favorite poem, we were linked by more than PCa.
Read it in it's entirety, it is reflective of me, my thoughts, my battle and how I fight this fight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Quitter
When you're lost in the Wild, and you're scared as a child,
And Death looks you bang in the eye,
And you're sore as a boil, it's according to Hoyle
To cock your revolver and.....die.
But the Code of a Man says: "Fight all you can,"
And self-dissolution is barred.
In hunger and woe, oh, it's easy to blow...
It's the hell-served-for-breakfast that's hard.
"You're sick of the game!" Well, now, that's a shame.
You're young and you're brave and you're bright.
"You've had a raw deal!" I know - but don't squeal,
Buck up, do your damnedest, and fight.
It's the plugging away that will win you the day,!
So don't be a piker, old pard!
Just draw on your grit; it's so easy to quit:
It's keeping-your-chin-up that's hard.
It's easy to cry that you're beaten - and die;
It's easy to crawfish and crawl;
But to fight and to fight when hope's out of sight-
Why, that's the best game of them all!
and though you come out of each gruelling bout,
All broken and beaten and scarred,
Just have one more try - it's dead easy to die,
It's the keeping-on-living that's hard.
November 11, 2008
Gloom without doom
It looks like this weekend disc golf will make it's annual return to the course in the woods, or "Down Under' as it is called. Ignoring the comments of my first paragraph, I love it! I'll snap a few photo's and include in an upcoming post.
November 04, 2008
Ever so brief.....
I was hoping to drop into the twenties but I am not complaining!!
Of course that was followed up by another night of no sleep. I woke up at 12:45 after less than two hours of restless sleep. I didn't fall back asleep until after 4:30 so I started the morning on just three hours of sleep.
I did watch a few more episodes of Dexter (again, very twisted) and I watched Ironman, loved it!
Until next time!
November 02, 2008
A premonition?
The title is just me kidding, I was going to add a joke about my mind being in a fog after tomorrow, but I'll spare you.
I had to share this picture from Saturday morning's round disc golf. (click the photo for a larger view) It was around 55 degrees yesterday, shorts, long sleeve t-shirt and a light pull over. When we arrived at the first hole, we could only see about 50 feet in front of us. We encountered the same on hole two. The fog slightly lifted for holes 4-8 but #9 was a blind shot as well. My drive on #9 disappeared into the fog and we found it 320 feet later, under the basket!
The picture above is hole #11. The tee shot and the fairway are covered by trees, thus keeping the fog at bay. However, as we approached the basket this was the scene.
Needless to say, it was fantastic Saturday morning!
October 31, 2008
Eight.....is great?
I pray, and ask for your prayers, that my PSA decreases once again. I myself am hoping for a number in the twenties, it was thirty-four on the 13th. As part of the clinical trial I also will need to undergo a bone scan again the following week. Other than the inconvenience, these are really no big deal. What does concern me is the amount of radioactive material that will have been injected into my body this year. This will be my fourth set of scans since the first of the year. With each, as preparation for the bone scan, I have an injection of a radioactive isotope. This is what lights up the hot spots of the scan (x-ray).
Work is busy and now somewhat stressful as our company was just bought out. Yesterday a number of my co-workers were let go. Telecommunications is not a very stable industry to be in at this time. If I had the opportunity I'd go back or switch to health care. For now, I'm relatively guarded from lay offs but only because I am working on a very strategic and successful product. My thoughts and prayers go out to those that were impacted. I have been there before, the stress is unbelievable.
This weekend is supposed to provide ideal Fall weather with temperatures in the seventies.
October 30, 2008
Outraged!!
Below is an article that announces a recent change by the Social Security Department inwhich they will accelerate the disability payments for certain diseases. While many types of cancer are included, advanced Prostate Cancer is missing.
As you can imagine, I find this outragous!
If you can find the time, please click here and write to your Senators:
US Senate
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The Social Security Administration Expedites Some Claims for Disability Benefits
Social Security Announces Nationwide Launch of Compassionate Allowances Process Will Fast Track Applications For People with Cancers and Rare Diseases
Michael J. Astrue, Commissioner of Social Security, today announced the national rollout of the agency’s Compassionate Allowances initiative, a way to expedite the processing of disability claims for applicants whose medical conditions are so severe that their conditions obviously meet Social Security’s standards.
“Getting benefits quickly to people with the most severe medical conditions is both the right and the compassionate thing to do,” Commissioner Astrue said. “This initiative will allow us to make decisions on these cases in a matter of days, rather than months or years.”
Currently, getting social security benefits can be a long time process which often does not get “worked out” until after the death of an applicant. Hopefully this process will expedite the process so that people will be able to receive their benefits to which they are entitled when they actually need them.
The expedited decision process is starting out with a total of 50 conditions. The Social Security Administration has stated that, over time, more diseases and conditions will be added to the list of expedited illnesses. A list of the first 50 impairments — 25 rare diseases and 25 cancers — can be found at at the end of this post.
Compassionate Allowances is the second piece of the agency’s two-track, fast-track system for certain disability claims. When combined with the agency’s Quick Disability Determination process, and once fully implemented, this two-track system could result in six to nine percent of disability claims, the cases for as much as a quarter million people, being decided in an average of six to eight days.
“This is an outstanding achievement for the rights of the very sickest in our community. The high number of backlogged cases and appeals has made it a significantly time consuming task to obtain the benefits we are entitled to receive. Hopefully his program will break the log jam and people will be able get on with their lives.
“Unfortunately, many hardworking people with cancer may not only face intensive treatment to save their lives, but they may also find themselves truly unable to perform their daily work-related activities and as result, may face serious financial concerns, such as the loss of income and the cost of treatment,” said Daniel E. Smith, president of the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network. “The Social Security Administration’s Compassionate Allowances program will help streamline the disability benefits application process so that benefits are quickly provided to those who need them most.”
The list currently includes:
Acute Leukemia
Adrenal Cancer - with distant metastases or inoperable, unresectable or recurrent
Alexander Disease (ALX) - Neonatal and Infantile
Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS)
Anaplastic Adrenal Cancer - with distant metastases or inoperable, unresectable or recurrent
Astrocytoma - Grade III and IV
Bladder Cancer - with distant metastases or inoperable or unresectable
Bone Cancer - with distant metastases or inoperable or unresectable
Breast Cancer - with distant metastases or inoperable or unresectable
Canavan Disease (CD)
Cerebro Oculo Facio Skeletal (COFS) Syndrome
Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML) - Blast Phase
Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) - Adult
Ependymoblastoma (Child Brain Tumor)
Esophageal Cancer
Farber’s Disease (FD) - Infantile
Friedreichs Ataxia (FRDA)
Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD), Picks Disease -Type A - Adult
Gallbladder Cancer
Gaucher Disease (GD) - Type 2
Glioblastoma Multiforme (Brain Tumor)
Head and Neck Cancers - with distant metastasis or inoperable or uresectable
Infantile Neuroaxonal Dystrophy (INAD)
Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC)
Kidney Cancer - inoperable or unresectable
Krabbe Disease (KD) - Infantile
Large Intestine Cancer - with distant metastasis or inoperable, unresectable or recurrent
Lesch-Nyhan Syndrome (LNS)
Liver Cancer
Mantle Cell Lymphoma (MCL)
Metachromatic Leukodystrophy (MLD) - Late Infantile
Niemann-Pick Disease (NPD) - Type A
Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer - with metastases to or beyond the hilar nodes or inoperable, unresectable or recurrent
Ornithine Transcarbamylase (OTC) Deficiency
Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI) - Type II
Ovarian Cancer - with distant metastases or inoperable or unresectable
Pancreatic Cancer
Peritoneal Mesothelioma
Pleural Mesothelioma
Pompe Disease - Infantile
Rett (RTT) Syndrome
Salivary Tumors
Sandhoff Disease
Small Cell Cancer (of the Large Intestine, Ovary, Prostate, or Uterus)
Small Cell Lung Cancer
Small Intestine Cancer - with distant metastases or inoperable, unresectable or recurrent
Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) - Types 0 And 1
Stomach Cancer - with distant metastases or inoperable, unresectable or recurrent
Thyroid Cancer
Ureter Cancer - with distant metastases or inoperable, unresectable or recurrent
October 29, 2008
Relatively Speechless
October 26, 2008
7, 617, 54...sorry
Everything is fine, everything is 'normal'.
Being week two, my tongue returned to normal and work returned to being hectic.
I spent Wednesday and Thursday in Boston, MA (617 area code) for work. It was a quick but productive trip.
I spent yesterday playing 54 holes of disc golf with most of the members of the Saturday morning gang.
We left at 6:00am for Columbia, MO where we played two rounds; one as individuals, one as two-man teams.
During the first round my brother-in-law almost made a hole-in-one - the disc hit the front rim of the basket from about 275 feet away.
250 feet over water then, BANG! Would have, should have, could have......
Both yesterday, and this week in Boston, were absolutely gorgeous fall days. The trees have turned, the days are cooler and crisp
and winter is right around the corner. With winter's arrival will come my longing for spring. I have five more chemo treatments, lasting until late
January, a mild and short winter would be a welcome treat.
In the weeks ahead I have treatment #8, new bone and CT scans, a long overdue trip to St. Louis and ......?
October 17, 2008
Hope, in the future
Frankly, there hasn't been anything positive to report, as sad as that is.
Yesterday was news that a trial for GVAX was officially cancelled. Another promising drug,
Provenge looks like it is still 12-18 months aways from possible FDA approval.
Not to be a downer, but the outlook for us guys with the advanced disease is not all that promising. That is not to say that I, and guys in my situation are out of options. I'm just saying there are not many promising things on the horizon or many options besides hormone therapy and chemotherapy.
There are a few treatments that are currently being researched, one is Abiraterone. See the press release from Cougar Biotechnology below.
The current clinical trials exclude those that have previously taken ketoconizal, so for now, I'm on the outside looking in. However, since I responded so favorably to the keto, Mary and I are hopeful that this may be an effective treatment for me in the future. It offers an option and it offers hope!
Positive Phase II Data on Cougar Biotechnology's CB7630 Presented at Prostate Cancer Foundation Scientific Retreat
Interim Phase II Results Support Efficacy of CB7630 (Abiraterone Acetate) in Advanced Prostate Cancer Patients
LOS ANGELES, Oct 17, 2008 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- Cougar Biotechnology, Inc. (CGRB:
Cougar Biotechnology, Inc.Copyright Business Wire 2008
+1-310-943-8040
Alan H. Auerbach, Chief Executive Officer and President
ahauerbach@cougarbiotechnology.com
Mariann Ohanesian, Director of Investor Relations
mohanesian@cougarbiotechnology.com
or
Russo Partners, LLC
David Schull, +1-212-845-4271
David.schull@russopartnersllc.com
Andreas Marathovouniotis, +1-212-845-4235
Andreas.marathis@russopartnersllc.com
October 13, 2008
The 504th hour
By far the worst part of the treatment process is the 60 minutes (approximately) between the time my blood is drawn and the moment when we are given my PSA number. Perhaps it's the build up, day after day, week after week, waiting, worrying, anticipating, and questioning, "Did the treatment have an impact this time?".
Tick, tick, tick…..is the clock even moving? Where are the results? Can I read the look on the doctor's face when he comes in the room? So, this is what we go through every three weeks (504 hours). Very little conversation, but the stress in the room could be cut with a very dull butter knife.
Did I mention, the nurse dropped off my test results a minute ago?
If you are curious, Mary wins the bet this month.
October 09, 2008
Lucky #7
October 01, 2008
The needles go on, and on, and...
After increasing the blood thinner dosage to 12.5mg three days a week and 10mg the other four, she had the results. My INR was DOWN from 1.8 to 1.5! WHAT?!!!
She had spoken with Dr. V and he was concerned that perhaps the study drug (Atrasentan) was interfering with the INR number. The short story is this, I could increase the Wafarin yet again, or just suck it up and use the Lovenox exclusively (Lovenox is the thinner I have been self injecting since the clot was discovered in early August).
The choice was easy. I was already getting a little concerned about the large amounts of Wafarin I was taking and going to 12.5mg a day, everyday was not a guarantee that my INR number would ever get to 2.0.
So, just like every morning for the past seven weeks, I got up this morning and stabbed myself in the belly. I'm already bruised from side to side. I can’t imagine how my stomach will look after four more months of this daily ritual!
OK, so the whining about this is over...it's just another bump in the road!
September 29, 2008
Why I do this or IINAM, chapter?
Yes, a cure in my lifetime would be ideal, but not realistic. I hold on to hope however. You see, I do this for the Wes Witchers of the world. Wes was a young father like myself who was also diagnosed with advanced PCa. Wes' diagnosis was more agressive and we lost him earlier this year. I've never met his wife Sheri or his daughters but hope to do so later this month.
Sunny day, keeping the clouds away....
We don’t have a final tally, but things are looking good for making our goal. I should have a better estimate after a few more payments come in over the next week and I receive the final bill from the golf course.
After two holes-in-one last year, no one was able to win the car or cash this year. All three flights resulted in scorecard playoffs and last year's overall winners were able to defend their crown. The final scores and winners can be found at:
I'll upload all the pictures tonight and provide a link in a blog post tomorrow.
I really cannot thank everyone enough, including those who volunteered, played, sponsored and supported us through donations. Each year this event seems to be more successful. Once again I am reminded not to underestimate the kindness and generosity of others!
This morning I find myself feeling really blessed!
September 23, 2008
Meet my friend Dex
Other good news, my INR (marker to measure blood thinner pharmaceuticals) was finally up to 1.8. The doc increased my dosage once again and we are pretty certain that the injections in my stomach will be a thing of the past next Monday!
On the other hand the steroids (Dex) woke me at 2:15am…..I never went back to sleep! I'll be dead tired by 9:00pm or so and am hoping I sleep through the night!
The other milestone was yesterday was the first day of fall. As I've written here before I'm not a big fan of fall. Winter is the worst. Fall, except for the beauty of the trees for a brief period, represents death in my mind.
As I let the dog out this morning I noticed our elm tree had almost completely changed to purple and had even began it's annual dumping of leaves into our backyard. The nights are cooler, the days are shorter and it seems that we went from summer to fall overnight.
Three days and counting until the golf tournament. We still have a lot of loose ends to pull together but I am not concerned that it will all come together and the event will go off without a hitch!
September 18, 2008
#'s
For six weeks now we have been trying to get my INR number high enough and stable enough to discontinue self injections of Lovenox. (INR is a blood marker used to determine the level of Wafarin or Coumadin in your blood).
In order to deal with "The Clot" I was put on Lovenox (self injection) and Coumadin (generic is Wafarin). The optimistic early prognosis from the doctors assistant was I would have to continue the self injections for 3, maybe four weeks until my INR reached a level above 2.0. It has now been over six weeks.
Things were progressing quite nicely, but not fast enough, when I reached 1.6 over two weeks ago. Last week we had a set back when it dropped to 1.3, this week it's up a little to 1.4. My Coumadin dosage was increased again on Tuesday and we are hoping when we see Dr. V on Monday it will be really close to or above 2.0.
…oh well, life goes on…..
September 17, 2008
'Faith', a different kind
The event is once again sold out! Thanks to a number of generous individuals and companies, we have great player's packs, many, many raffle items and a list of exceptional live auction items. It is sure to be a great day!
The second and third week after my last chemo treatment have been somewhat 'normal'. The metallic taste disappeared after about eight days, the fatigue was gone after the first weekend and life resumed, as much as that is possible. My upcoming treatment number on Monday, which will be #6 will mark the halfway point. Already?
On another note, I received the attached story from my friend Tom and thought it was worth sharing. At times God tests us all.
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This dog was born on Christmas Eve in the year 2002. He was born with 3 legs - 2 healthy hind legs and 1 abnormal front leg which need to be amputated. He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him.
His first owner also did not think that he could survive. Therefore, he was thinking of 'putting him to sleep'. By this time, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met him and wanted to take care of him. She was determined to teach and train this dog to walk by himself. Therefore she named him 'Faith'.
In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfing board to let him feel the movements. Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and to reward for him to stand up and jump around. Even the other dog at home also helped to encourage him to walk. Amazingly, after only 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his 2 hind legs, and jumped to move forward. After further training in the snow, he now can walk like a human being. Faith loves to walk around now. No matter where he goes, he just attracts all the people around him.
He is now becoming famous on the international scene. He has appeared in various newspapers and on TV shows. There is even a book entitled 'With a Little Faith' being published about him. He was also considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.
His present owner Jude Stringfellow has given up her teaching post and plans to take him around the world to preach that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul.
In life there are always undesirable things that occur. Perhaps one will feel better if one changes the point of view from another direction.
September 09, 2008
DOB: 9-9-96
Twelve years is not nearly enough.
So today, on his twelfth birthday I have a request to God, please allow me to continue my battle with Prostate Cancer long enough for me to:
Happy Birthday Brad, I love you son, you are the best!
September 03, 2008
Some good, some not so good
My treatment appointment was at 1:00pm. We usually do mornings but with the holiday we had little choice. Morning avoid delay and backlog…..afternoon appointment tend to get you want we got. I checked in at 1:00pm and just before 2:00p, I was called back to have my blood drawn for lab work (PSA, CBC panel, INR all the good stuff!).
The phlebotomist says "I can’t believe you checked in at one and they just gave me your paperwork. We've just been back here catching up on paper work and refilling supply cabinets". I don’t believe you could describe the look on my face as a smile.
So, needless to say that was followed with a meeting with Dr. V's Physician Assistant. All went well there. She did review the radiology report from Friday's bone scan. "No new areas, all existing areas (i.e. tumors) are stable and show no uptake". She did not have my INR or PSA but my CBC showed my WBC had fully recovered and was actually a little high. She said it can indicate that I am fighting an infection but after further discussion and a re-cap of my activities over the last two weekends she was confident I am not. I shared with her the lovely bruising across my stomach (from the Lovenox shots) and expressed my desire to get off them ASAP. No such luck as I'll share later.
After this we went up to treatment. This takes about two hours with all the preparation, pre-treatment medications and then one hour of Taxotere. Mary was catching up on work, I watched most of the movie "Sideways" on my iPod [great movie!]. As the time was approaching 5:00pm Mary went back down stairs to get my lab results.
PSA - 41.36
The PSA was 'stable' using her words. The increase was just 1.38. As others have described this is 'statistically insignificant'. Whatever! We had pinned our hopes on another decrease, but oh well, we looked forward to the next test on the 22nd.
As for the INR (test for blood thinner to deal with blood clot in leg). They want this number to be over two. After almost four weeks we obviously are not there yet. They upped the dosage of Coumadin but I have to continue the shots. I am getting REALLY tired of poking myself with a needle each morning. I mean REALLY tired! I think I do a pretty good job of not complaining or whining here, give me a little slack for once….this just plain sucks! So it's back to Walgreen's to get a new stock of needles!
The good news at the end of the day is last night, after all the Dex that I took and that they pumped into me I actually got some sleep! It was not complete or without interruptions, but it wasn't the standard night after treatment when I am awake from 1-5am! The silver lining, well perhaps bronze but I'm not complaining!
And so the saga continues…..
September 01, 2008
#5, 9-2-08
We spent Friday night through Sunday noon at my brothers place in Macon, Mo.
We ate really well (grilled glazed salmon one night, smoked chicken with grilled pineapple another)! Brad got to ride the four wheeler all by himself, he was getting pretty good tearing through the mud by the time we left! As in the past I mowed grass for about two hours on Saturday morning and then chopped about a quarter cord of firewood. Strange, but very therapeutic for me.
Last night I finished another book, James Patterson's "1st To Die". A very interesting murder - mystery. What I didn't know before I started the book was that the main character begins a battle with a potentially incurable disease. I have a knack for movies and books with characters like this one. This was the first in a series of six. I bought numbers two and three at Target today.
This morning we played disc golf. I shot four over par at a course we don't play very often. After I returned home I spent around two hours doing much needed yard work. Tending to the vegetable garden, trimming and fertilizing our roses etc. After that, I spent another two hours painting window frames.
Why bore you with all these details? Just trying to point out that once again, I seem to have fully recovered three weeks after my last treatment.
Here's to number five; may my tests bring good news and may God grace me with the strength to combat the side effects one more time.
Peace be with everyone.
August 28, 2008
Hi, remember me?
Tomorrow I have to go in for what I am estimating is my 8th bone scan. This is a routine part of the clinical trial I am taking art in, so don't get worried. There's not much to it; I'll go in at 8:00, get injected with some radioactive fluid, then I'll come back two hours later and lie on an x-ray machine for about 40 minutes and that will be it!
Tuesday I'll review the results and they my provide me with chemo transfusion number five.
We have a big, busy weekend planned, more details on that in a later post.
Here's to long weekends, may each of you your Labor Day: be safe and enjoy some time with your family and friends!
August 24, 2008
54? Let's make it an even 72!!
Joe, Rich and I decided we had talked about a disc golf road trip long enough, it was time to act. We decided we would make a day of it and play in Marshall, MO and two different courses in Columbia, MO.
So yesterday morning Rich and I left my house at 6:00am, picked Joe up and headed 60 minutes east on I-70 to Marshall, MO. They have a great little disc course there, Indian Foothills Disc Golf Course. When we tee'd off a little before 8:00am it was damp, due to heavy dew overnight. Our feet were instantly soaked, and they remained that way for the next 12 hours. This had no impact on our day however! The course was new to Rich and myself and the three of us really had a great time, despite the face full of spider webs each us experienced multiple times. Eww!!!
By 10:30 we were in Columbia, MO at Albert Oakland Park. I love this course. It had been almost four years since I played in Columbia, certainly - BC (before cancer). The threat of rain had long passed, the sky was still overcast but the humidity was typical for an August day in the heartland! Joe shot a nice round at even par and Rich and I finished equal at +3.
Next it was off to the campus of the University of Misssouri and lunch at Shakespeare’s Pizza.
The pie was delicious and with little delay we were off for our next round at Indian Hills Disc Golf Course. The previous time I played this course I really liked it. This time, by the time we reached the back nine we couldn't wait to leave. I'm all for a challenge, but this course is in need of some serious trimming! There was at least one tree and multiple limbs on every hole that needed to be removed. I even questioned at one point whether the Columbia Parks and Recreation Department owned it or knew how to operate a saw. I'm not whining here, but the condition of this course was ridiculous.
By the time we finished it was only 4:00. We agreed we couldn't finish on a bad note. A quick phone call to Mary and we were on our way back to Oakland for round four! 72 holes of disc golf in one day!
The last round was perhaps the most fun. We played in less than 90 minutes and finished the back nine in 28 minutes! Joe and I barely missed ace's on number 16. His shot went right over the top, mine cut right across the front of the basket!
In total, it was an unbelievable day! I haven't had that much fun playing disc golf since Europe in 2006.
Here are the scores for the day (Par is 54)
Joe - 53, 54, 60, 50 = 217 or +1
David- 61, 57, 64, 57 = 239 or +23
Rich - 57, 57, 70, 57 = 241 or +25
One thing to note - I definitely had an advantage over Rich in one aspect. I had played both courses in Columbia previously. Due to the layout, my experience did not provide an advantage at Oakland however, at Indian Hills, due to the number of blind shots, I had a leg up.
In the end, the scores really didn't matter. We had a fantastic time, a nice trip and great conversation on the trip home. Thanks Rich and Joe for sharing this day with me. You both are great guys. I wonder where we'll go next?
EPILOGUE: I was slightly concerned that after all that activity I'd be a little sore today. And of course, Mary shared in my concern. Well I was not fatigued or hurting in the least bit! Take that chemotherapy and PCa!!
August 22, 2008
Belated Milestones
This date might not mean much to most people. To me it marked 42 months, or three and a half years post diagnosis. So much has changed, yet so much remains the same.
First and foremost, we, Mary and I have settled into a somewhat comfortable way of dealing with having cancer on a daily basis. I am not suggesting that it's easy, I'm just saying that it does not feel like this all encompassing burden. We have learned to deal with it, and we continue to live our lives, and maintain as much 'normalcy' as possible.
Next, I have met so many fellow Prostate Cancer survivors, it's incredible. From all over the US, from all over the world! I really cherish their friendships, advice and feedback. However, there are a number of good people that we have lost; Ric, Wes, Rick, Aubrey and more. This is the sad part, merely typing their names makes me cry. God bless them, God bless their families.
Finally I come to our foundation; Faith, Love, Hope, Win. As the planning for our fourth annual golf tournament continues, I stop and think about what we have done in such a short time, with such limited resources. By the time our tournament is completed on September 26th we are hopeful that will be able to have raised over $100,000 for advanced prostate cancer research. Wow!
If you feel like reminiscing with me, this is a link to all the references of the word 'milestones' in my blog. Pretty interesting, at least it was to me.
I'll finish with a list from my blog entry dated July 21, 2005:
- We will celebrate our 15 year wedding anniversary (Aug 2006, no doubt! ~ at a minimum 25 in 2016!!!)
- I will celebrate my Grandmother's 100th Birthday in November
- I will see my niece graduate from college (May 2008, for sure ~ as long as she doesn’t begin a 5 year plan, no pressure Meg's!!)
- I will see my nephew graduate from high school (May 2009)
- I will see my son get his drivers license (September 2012)
- I will see my son graduate from high school (May 2014)
- I will live to see him graduate from college
- I will live to see him get married
- I will live to be a grandfather
- I will live to be cured………
The first two are completed. The third…looks like I'll see her married before graduation, but that's OK. No doubt about number four. As for the others, I still have a few years, but each is getting closer and certainly more attainable as the days fly by! The final one is what I fall asleep praying for each night.
August 20, 2008
Running from Fay
August 13, 2008
Hair today....gone tomorrow?
August 11, 2008
BIG NEWS, GOOD NEWS....BIG GOOD NEWS!
August 08, 2008
I'm not 'Lovenox'
Even though it was going on 7:00pm we called my Oncologist office, since they told us when I started chemo to call for whatever reason. Dr. V himself called back in ten minutes. He told me to keep it elevated the rest of the evening and come see him at 8:00am this morning.
Knowing that he would have to work us in, we prepared for another long day at the doctors office.
I was in the lab waiting for an ultra-sound by 8:15, finished with the scan and in his waiting room by 9:15. So quick my head was spinning.
So it turns out I have small blood clot or a Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) in my right calf. The good news is clots in this area, though a reason for concern, are far less serious than if it were located somewhere else. The bad news is for at least the next six months I have to take yet another drug, Lovenox.
At first blush this might appear to be so bad, expect the Lovenox is self administer as explained here. And comes with these side effects:
• Bleeding or oozing from surgical wound
• Any other bleeding episodes; for example, bleeding at the site of the injection, nosebleeds, blood in your urine, or if you cough or vomit blood
• Spontaneous bruising (a bruise not caused by a blow or any apparent reason)
• Pain or swelling in any part of your leg, foot, or hip
• Dizziness, numbness, or tingling
• Rapid or unusual heartbeat
• Chest pain or shortness of breath
• Vomiting, nausea, or fever
• Confusion
OK, I know this is serious, but Mary Brad and I are currently laughing about the last one!
With nothing more to say, I'll just end with this; the saga continues......
August 07, 2008
Click here, sign here!
There is a petition that the PCa community is circualting.
On January 20, 2009, a new President of the United States will be sworn in.
On January 21, 2009, that President will receive this petition.
http://www.prostatecancerpetition.org/
Please click on the link above and, after reading it, if you feel compelled to do so, please sign it.
There are currently over 9,000 signatures and we are trying to get to 10,000 by the end of September (Prostate Cancer Awareness Month).
August 05, 2008
The Dog Days
Some how, we had a good time anyway. We shopped, just a little, and went out for a few good meals. The most fun was at the water park. We were there for almost five hours and wiped out when we left. The heat is supposed to break tomorrow and last through the weekend.
Mary and I are hoping to get in another long weekend before Labor Day but we'll have to see.
While there I finally started a new book. I am reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini (he wrote the Kite Runner). I'm almost finished and must say that it is quite good. A much different story than the Kite Runner. It takes place in Afghanistan and though this one did not make me cry, it is equally as engrossing. I should finish it tonight or tomorrow.
My brother is recovering at home after having his gall bladder removed last week. Apparently the stone was the size of an egg and the bladder so swollen it was pushing into his liver. It was quite painful but after a few days he's much better.
My blood test results are due at any moment, I'll post tomorrow
July 31, 2008
What does David actually do?
So what do I do as a Product Development Manager? In a nut shell I am a dreamer, an innovator and an inventor. For the past eight months I have been leading this project to fruition:
It's pretty exciting after spending months and months on a project to have it written up in the Wall Street Journal!
In addition to this project I have eight Patents on file with the US Patent Office and 16 more that are in various stages of pre-submission. Though it might sound impressive, in my opinion, until the Patent Office actually grants the Patent, it doesn’t matter a whole lot (though I do take a little pride in this).
I could go on but brevity is key! In the end I hope this provides another look into the man behind the blog.
July 29, 2008
"WBC" at an all time low....
White blood cell count (WBC) - The number of white blood cells in a specified volume of blood. White blood cells form the mainstay of your immune system -- a low number might increase your risk of infection and a high number possibly indicating that you have an infection.
According to today's report, normal is between 4.0 and 10.5. At 1.7 all I can say is Yikes! It's amazing that I'm not more fatigued. Overall, the key is to reach full recovery by August 11th. My red blood cell count is still in the normal range so there is some good news.
By the way, I'm sure you've noticed something looks different around here? Brown was so blah, this place needed a little sprucing up! I hope you like it?
Just a brief update, enough for today!
July 28, 2008
The brick wall
Just to recap last week:
Monday: Chemo treatment #3
Tuesday: Work day, then Tom Petty concert after 3.5 hours of sleep
Wednesday: Work day, 9 hole golf league after 5 hours of sleep
Thursday: Work day
Friday: 1/2 Work day, then 18 hole golf tournament
Saturday: usual disc golf round, then I took Brad to see "Journey to the Center of the Earth" in 3D
So by yesterday, Mary was none to happy with me, and frankly, I can't blame her. However, I have always been this way; I can't just sit around, I have to be doing something. Even yesterday, I had breakfast with a PCa friend, went to Mass and then I went to serve my time under house arrest. I worked on bills, the FLHW.org Foundation business and did a few loads of laundry. Just "took it easy"!
So we reach Monday. I got a great nights sleep, worked out and gave my blood sample this morning. I feel so much better than Saturday or Sunday.
I really don't have a conclusion here? I guess I'll just say this "Mary, I promise the week after my August 11th treatment, I will take things MUCH easier than this week!"
That is, unless Mark calls me with an 11th hour cancellation to the Jack Johnson concert on the 15th!!!!
OK, just kidding Mary.....sort of.....
July 23, 2008
I found a cure for the lack of sleep and Dex:
So last night, along with 14,500+ other Kansas Citians, we attended the Steve Winwood and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers show. We did not leave disappointed!
Steve Winwood's voice is still incredible after all these years. If I closed my eyes during "Dear Mr. Fantasy", I would have though it was off the original 1967 recording...it was awesome!
Petty and the Heartbreakers rocked for just over two hours. Here is the set list, one hit after another, after another!
You Wreck
MeListen
To Her Heart
I Won't Back Down
Even the Losers
Free Fallin'
Mary Jane's Last Dance
Sweet William
End of the Line
Breakdown
Saving Grace
Face in the Crowd
Honey Bee
Learning to Fly
Don't Come Around Here No More
Refugee
Encore:
Runnin' Down a Dream
Mystic Eyes
American Girl
All I can say is, thanks Mark for a wonderful time! Tonight, I go to bed early (after my weekly Wednesday evening ball golf game!) and try to catch up on some of that missing sleep!
July 22, 2008
I Don't like Monday's
...and a few others....
"Monday, Monday" -The Mamas & The Papas
"Manic Monday" -The Bangles
"Monday Morning" -Fleetwood Mac
"Come Monday" -Jimmy Buffet
"Stormy Monday" -The Allman Bros.
The Dex won the battle last night! I woke at 1:30, tossed and turned until 2:15 then got sucked into "The Wire" again until about 4:45am. Maybe 30 minute more sleep and Buck and I got up at 6:30.
I am currently attempting to function on about 3 1/2 hours of sleep. I should go home but have a number of calls to be on at work this morning.
Yesterday's appointment was long. I guess I am just going to have to stop complaining about it and get used to it. Things were running behind again; we arrived at 8:30 and left at about 1:45. We got lunch, ran an errand and returned home just before 4:00pm.
Somehow we found the energy to got see "Momma Mia" at 5:15, it was good. Definitely a 'chick flick' but I really enjoyed it, even the Abba music. You know they are from Sweden, apparently they opened a museum last year in Stockholm. I guess my visit there was a year early!
My White Blood Count returned to normal levels as did most of my others. My red is right on the border line of low but nothing seemed to alarm the doc.
My PSA remained steady at 53.4, at least it has reached a plateau. We were told by Dr. Van, and had read on-line, that it can take 10-12 weeks before we see results. This was just 6 week so we are hoping the tide will begin to turn next appointment (August 11).
That's the recap for my Monday!
July 18, 2008
Ready, set, 1, 2, 3 go!
The next thing I have to say might be a little controversial, but here goes anyway. I have tried to avoid topics such as this, but this one has been bothering me for quite some time. Remember, it's my blog, I started this and continue it to share what I'm thinking, and what I am going through. Please read the following, agree, disagree...if nothing else just think about it for a minute.
On May 30, 2007, President Bush announced his proposal to double America's initial commitment and provide an additional $30 billion to combat global HIV/AIDS over the next five years.
$30 Billion dollars! What about Americans dealing with cancer, cancer of all kinds?
In 1997 1.4M Americans were diagnosed with cancer. This was in addition to the millions who were already living with the disease, including yours truly.
The total proposed 2009 budget for the National Cancer Institute is just over $6 Billion and our government leaders send an equal amount, every year, for the next five years overseas.
That is all I have to say, I'm not going to present an argument of AIDS vs. Cancer, etc. I just wanted to present this one little position and ask you to think about it.