January 27, 2010

47 Random birthday thoughts

1 It was great to have coffee with Mary this morning
2 I hope "Take 5 Coffee Bar" is a success - it's a tough business
3 It's nice when total strangers compliment you on your child
4 I pray for a cure for Advanced PCa in my lifetime
5 And If not a "cure" the ability manage this disease for many, many years
6 I want Mary to find comfort, peace and content and not live with stress
7 I want us to celebrate our 20th, 25th and ? wedding anniversaries
8 I long for a trip to the beach, still
9 Will I be here when Brad graduates from high school?
10 Or when Brad graduates from college?
11 Or when Brad gets married?
12 Or Brad and his bride have grandchildren?
13 What will be my next career?
14 I love sushi and look forward to birthday sushi with Gary
15 Dinner at Garozzo's with the family, it's been a few years!
16 Happy birthday Cack's!!
17 I love the water, the ocean so much that I believe I was a sailor in a previous life
18 Thanks for the book Melissa
19 Thanks for all the birthday wishes!
20 I was jamming to Carbon Leaf this morning, love that album
21 How cool is the iPad? Did you see today's announcement? Price will be interesting...
22 I am a tech geek, I admit it
23 Lunch was great, is there a nap room around here?
24 So many books, so little free time
25 I'm done buying music, I have over 40 gig and over 10K songs, done I say
26 Love, life, peace, hope
27 Family, friends, and the kindness of strangers
28 Given a choice, I'll take apple pie over cake
29 Thinking there might be a connection between recurring leg/hip pain and disc golf
30 Disturbed at the long term ramifications if #29 is true!
31 I am ready for spring, it has been a long winter already
32 Also ready for a few warmer evenings and a fire pit or two
33 'Smores
34 Currently listening to Van Morrison, Brown Eyed Girl
35 I truly love my very own brown eyed girl
36 The Moody Blues - Ride My See-Saw, never knew the name of that tune
37 I once saw Black and Blue (Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult and the Checkerdome in St Louis).
38 In regards to #37, Tony fell asleep, seriously.
39 Dear Pandora, I don’t like the Beatles, please stop playing them….forever!
40 You can teach an old dog new tricks, our seven year old, 95lb lab now sleeps on the floor
41 In the thick of the battle, where do you find peace?
42 Did anyone read this far?
43 What kind of husband, friend, brother, person was I before PCa?
44 I like the new me better than the previous version (David 2.0?)
45 People DO change, maybe not completely
46 So many milestones in the next few weeks
47 I pray for the health that will provide me the ability to write a list of 48 next year!

January 15, 2010

Come On!

Back to 'Rescue Me'…

The opening song for the show is called "C'mon, C'mon"
by the Von Bondies
. Personally I am not familiar with this group at all,
however I love this song!

I'm not sure if it was specifically written for the show, i.e. about firefighters,
but as I read the words today it occurred to me it could have easily
been written for the prostate cancer brotherhood.

Find the song. Download the song! It's a real rocker!

"C'mon C'mon"
Von Bondies
(The theme song for "Rescue Me")
On another day c'mon c'mon
With these ropes tied tight can we do no wrong
Now we grieve 'cause now it's gone
Things were good when we were young

With my teeth bite down I can see the blood
Of a thousand men who have come and gone
Now we grieve 'cause now it's gone
Things were good when we were young

Is it safe to say? (c'mon c'mon)
Was it right to leave? (c'mon c'mon)
Will I ever learn? (c'mon c'mon)
(c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon)

As I make my way c'mon c'mon
Through these battered nights that seem too long
Now we grieve 'cause now it's gone
Things were good when we were young

With my teeth bite down I can see the blood
Of a thousand men who have come and gone
Now we grieve 'cause now it's gone
Things were good when we were young

Is it safe to say? (c'mon c'mon)
Was it right to leave? (c'mon c'mon)
Will I never learn? (c'mon c'mon)
(c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon)

Is it safe to say? (c'mon c'mon)
Was it right to leave? (c'mon c'mon)
Will I never learn? (c'mon c'mon)
(c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon)

And on this day these deepened wounds don't heal so fast
Can't hear me croon of a million lies that speak no truths
Of a time gone by that now is through

January 13, 2010

On a whim.....

Like much of what I have seen of Dennis Miller over the years on TV, his radio show is this eclectic gathering of thoughts, ideas, topics and more. It's politics, Hollywood, authors, and just regularpeople like you and I rolled into three jam packed hours of entertainment.

At work while in between meetings, etc. I popped in to listen to the live webcast of the Dennis Miller Radio Show. During today's second hour, Dennis had a guest author, Jim Moret. Jim has recently published a new book "The Last day of My Life" and the back story and conversation between he and Dennis had me mesmerized. After Jim's segment ended, on a whim I called Dennis.

Much to my surprise two callers later it was Dennis and me, live on the air! I initially called to share some smart ass remark he could share regarding Sarah Palan and Bill O'Reilly. First I wanted to thank Dennis for having Mr. Moret on the show, but very quickly the conversation turned to me. It was pretty cool. I even got to promote the website for 'Faith, Love, Hope, Win', twice!

I sent an email asking for a copy of the call, however I doubt that will happen. If by some miracle it were to happen, I'll post a link here.

Dennis, I know you'll never read this, but I wanted to once again extend my heartfelt thanks for allowing my a few minutes of time on your show. If just one person visits www.flhw.org and finds information on prostate cancer, and it causes him to see his doc, then it was worth my acting without thinking….which I tend to shy away from these days.

Keep up the good work Dennis, you are a fine, fine man.

January 10, 2010

My Latest Obsession

So now I'm hooked, and I mean really hooked on the show 'Rescue Me'. It stars Dennis Leary as New York City firefighter Tommy Gavin. I got season one from Netflix some time ago and just started watching it over the holiday. Season one originally aired back in 2004 and I believe season five just aired recently. I watched my way half way through season two this weekend and am enthralled.

Tommy's past constantly haunts him, his failed marriage, the death of his cousin on 9/11, alcoholism, etc. In the first season he saw visions of people he saved, or didn't save from fires. This season he started having visions and discussions with Jesus. If you watch the show, it all makes sense.

So on the episode I was watching this morning, he's talking to Jesus and they are dancing around 'God's Plan'. You know, why would God inflict pain and suffering on us without revealing his plan? Wow, did that hit close to home. I've really been living that mystery for the last five years! There has to be more to this then diagnosis, treatment, suffering, death. Furthermore, what about those in my life that are left behind? What about the impact on their 'plan'? What about the impact on their life, their future?

Sorry to be so cerebral, so theological today. I was just obsessing a bit because sometimes, it is about me..

January 08, 2010

The beach is how far away?

I have to start by complaining a little about the weather. Wow is it cold here in KC! Sub zero temperatures and wind chills that will freeze you in minutes. Yes, we had a white Christmas, now I am ready for a little reprieve from the snow and freezing temperatures.

On Monday I had my four week appointment with Dr. V.My PSA stands at 111. That is up 3 points from December, virtually stable. If It had gone from 8 to 11, I'd be worried but with numbers that high, it's as if it didn’t change.

Yes I've become a little complacent, but what we are waiting for is a big jump and/oran increased amount of pain. Right now, as I type this I am pain free. This leaves us,once again, living in a 28 day cycle.

At some point, hopefully months from now, we will have to make a decision on our next treatment. I've gone over what those choice are here time and time again so I'll save that for another post. The choices are few and the long term benefits of most are negligible. However, we go on,heads up, stronger than ever.

As we grind through another frigid winter day I look forward to a few degrees of warmth that perhaps will come next week. I also look forward to a trip to the beach and the warmth and comfort of sand between my toes and Maryat my side. Perhaps it's time to start making those plans...