November 23, 2008

Looking forward to .....

number 9.

Tomorrow, about twelve hours from now, I will be in the midst of chemotherapy treatment number nine.  I'm feeling a bit indifferent tonight; I feel great and in fact, overall I feel better than I have in sometime. Not that I have been feeling bad, it's just I feel really good right now.

Taking advantage of weather in the 50's today we played disc golf this morning (welcome back Pete, I really missed you).  Upon my return home I took advantage of the nice temperatures and my high energy level and proceeded to put up our outside Christmas lights. It only took me a few hours and I am glad that this chore is behind me. Next weekend we can focus on the inside decorations. That is, depending on the side effects from "old #9"!

I find it hard to believe that tomorrow I will be 3/4 of the way through this process. I want better results, a lower PSA number, and more, but I am a realist at the same time, and things are going extremely well.  I shouldn't be greedy but I should thank God for what has happened so far in this process.

I probably say this to often but I live this terribly ironic life; I try my best to go on day after day with my head up, trying to remain positive, trying to laugh and live. All the while I carry this unbelievable burden called cancer. Not a cancer that can come, and begone in short order, but a cancer that goes on and on, unknown to most. There is nothing in my outward appearance that would even let anyone know what a cruel war is waging inside of me.

I am and will remain the commander, the General of this war - I will not be defeated without a fight. Fortunately, even after four years, the battle has just gotten underway.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Keep fighting the fight. You have been and will continue to be an inspiration for so many. God Bless you and your family.