So many things have changed in my life. I am clearly not the same person that I was when I wrote these words five years ago. I still remember as I sat at my desk, writing these words, tears were streaming down my cheeks. My thoughts were scattered. At the same time, I was clearly focused on what is the most important part of my life, my family.
They have changed as well. Brad is older and quite the young man. I am so proud of him. Mary and I were always close, but I can't believe how much closer we have grown through this experience. It's amazing how wonderful life can be in the middle of the chaotic irony that we live.
And so yesterday, there Mary and I sat like we do every 28 days, waiting for my Oncologist to share my test results. We had considerable discussion about the pains I have been having in my right leg and hip. The discussion went no where. Is it cancer related? Is it early signs of arthritis? We speculated as best we could. We decided to give it another 4 weeks and see if the pain changes, remains the same or goes away. Just to be clear, it's very intermittent and three Advil always takes care of it for a day or more. Because it involves my right hip, which is where the pain began prior to my diagnosis, it is a concern for me each time I experience the pain. If the pain returns, the doctor will request xrays, which will help us to determine the source of the pain - arthritis vs cancer, or perhaps a combination of the two.
A harder decision that I have made after discussing it with Mary and the doctor is to stop playing disc golf for a few weeks. I'm crushed, but it 's the best thing to do. I really need to give my leg a rest and disc golf more than anything puts a lot of stress on my right leg, hip and knee. So I will temporarily retire and be the full time score keeper. I will still enjoy the camaraderie and get exercise by walking the course. At the same time I'll be taking a lot more pictures while we are out on the course. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully this will be short lived and I'll be back at it in a few weeks.
So back to today; my PSA was down eight points! Most people would not be too excited to be told their PSA is at 103. For us, it was music to our ears.
Happy Blog-Aversary indeed!!
Peace be with you all!
I thought about starting this with links to resources about prostate cancer, but had second thoughts. Interested parties can easily find those on their own, just start at http://www.webmd.com/ or http://www.prostatecancerfoundation.org/ and go forth.
So here I am, a 42 year old, white male and tomorrow I am having a biopsy to determine if the problems I am experiencing are ultimately diagnosed as Prostate Cancer. Grim thought indeed.
Worse case, unsuccessful treatment, or surgery and death. Best case, it's simply prostatitis (sp?) and the wonderful world of medications will cure all. I'm remaining somewhat hopeful but because of family history and the number of symptoms I have, I am fighting to remain positive. I pray a lot more than I ever have.
I worry most about my wife and young son and how they would go on? Braggadocio aside, I am her life. We are very close and literally are each others world. She lost her mom at 8, the same age he is now. Financially she will be fine because of insurance and other investments we have made over the years. But I worry about them both emotionally and psychologically. I can't imagine going on without her or him, it saddens me deeply. I pray a lot more than I ever have......