May 10, 2006

Comfortably Numb

On the Pink Floyd album “The Wall” there is a song titled “Comfortably Numb”, it begins with:

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
…….

Relax.
I'll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?

So here are the facts: my PSA number now stands at 11.37

So where do we go from here? Perhaps as a first step I’ll go back on Casodex to see if by cutting off the source of the ten percent of testosterone, my numbers will come back down?

I pray that’s the direction my Oncologist suggests. The other choice, the one we almost delved in to a few months ago is not pretty. Chemo. It’s such a nasty, nasty word.

Here I sit wondering, what the hell? What’s next? Will this nightmare ever end? I just want to wake up and have it just be all right…..

Back to the song……
It doesn’t hurt – I am nodding – the facts are the facts and that is what really, really is hard to accept right now…and so I am….comfortably numb.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

David, I called mother a little bit ago when I got your PSA number. Your name, along with the rest of your family, remains in a prominent place in her bible. She prays for you often, as do I, and many others.

Peace be with you.

Jeff

John Wagner said...

David,

Praying even more often for you now. I am praying specifically that the correct treatment option is chosen. Yes, chemo is a very scary word and thought. But, I know you can handle it and with God's grace it will be much easier than what you anticipate, if that is what has to happen. As you know, I was very concerned about starting chemo - heck, and I haven't made this too public (until now), but I even started smoking again the week before it started. How is that for a dumb move? It has not even come close to what I thought it would be. Now I know that some have a rough time but I am sure you are stronger than you may believe you are. Hang in there friend, you have many people supporting you.

Anonymous said...

David,

We continue to pray for you and your family. Even though you would never acknowledge it you are a hero to so many. The world is sorely lacking real heroes and I truely believe God hand-picked you knowing that you would touch so many lives. By the way I was real proud of your son scoring a goal in the soccer game last week but what really spoke volumes was the way he ran over to you after the game and jumped in your arms. Not only are you a hero to all of us but it is obvious you are a hero to him and a great father.

Karen said...

I will be thinking of you. You will make it through this.

Scott Sheperd said...

David, My name is Scott Sheperd and I have worked with people dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses for years. I have written a few things based on what I learned from people with their backs against the wall. My co-author on a couple of books was given six months to live about thirty years ago and she is still doing fine. What you want to have happen, and I know it is tough - really tough, is to have your numbness turn into a sense of peace.You move from strength much easier when you start in peace. If you want, go to my website on www.mystresscoach.com(I have another website just focused on these issues in the works) and click on my blog Rainbows Happen. On the top entry is a link to a presentation I put together.I love it and I have gotten a lot of positive comments from people who have seen it, especially people in difficult situations.
Best to you.