January 13, 2006

Ambivalence

The results of the bone scan are in and they are good! The bottom line is the Radiologist used words like "marked improvement" and "no noticeable activity" and regarding my spine and neck "no lesions can be found" - OK, it's not "you're cured" but compared to the slides from last February this is awesome!

Next steps are; blood test 1/27, blood test and Dr. meeting 3/3, updated bone/CT scan 5/12So it's just watch, wait and hold your breath!

My life had basically become a serious of ups and downs, that in and of itself does not make me different than any of you. What I have realized recently, however, is that I have become a master in managing the highs and lows of this battle. Give me bad news; I'm Teflon, it just rolls off me. Give me good news; same reaction, and therein lies the conundrum.

I should be jumping up and down, but I'm not. I'm numb. It's like living on death row, I just got a "stay" from a judge, not the Governor. Don't be mistaken, I'm not depressed, this is really good news, I just wish I could relax for a minute and enjoy it. After all. I could have the poison of Chemo running through my veins right now!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am going to make your blog a favorite and check back in on you and your journey. I am 3 yrs in the clear after finding breast cancer. I thought it was the biggest battle I could face and then I lost my 23 year old son in a car accident this past March. Life teaches us many lessons, especially when we least expect it. I agree with you: faith, hope, love and win! Faith is what sees me through each day. Blessings to you in Kansas...blessings for a healthy life and a joyful life with your family. Every day is a memory.

John Wagner said...

And some people say that prayer doesn't work? You are LIVING proof that it does. Fantastic news! Let it sink in, believe it and enjoy it. Still praying for you.

Anonymous said...

David,

Focus on the beauty of each day, your family, and your friends. You are so blessed. Keep the faith. You are awesome!

Anonymous said...

David,

Carpe Diem! When in doubt, Carpe Diem! Get on the phone to the travel agent and get on over to Italy.. Good news = Time to do something you want to do!! We're all thinking of you and praying for you and your family.. xxo

Kathy Lodes