Until Tuesday night, I was doing a pretty good job of keeping my emotions in check. I had found that I could talk about my condition, about prostate cancer in general, and about the foundation and keep it all together. What I discovered is that in situations when I am speaking to a small group with 2 - 4 others, I'm fine. As some of you know, I have been known to talk about this topic for an extended period of time!
Something different happened on Tuesday evening. I attended the monthly meeting for our Knights of Columbus chapter. Before hand, I was asked if I would be comfortable providing an update on my condition. I thought I would take advantage of the opportunity to education other men on prostate cancer, provide some insights into this disease and encourage my brother Knights to get check up's, etc. I created a mental outline of the topics to be discussed. As soon as I stood up, I found myself incredibly uncomfortable and immediately had to fight back the emotions. I'm not sure what it was? Perhaps it was because Fr. Bill was in the audience, and maybe it was the fact that I have such respect and admiration for the men assembled in the room? Whatever it was, I rambled on for 10 minutes or so, got a few of my points across and it was relieved to sit back down, still fighting overwhelming emotion.
As I write this, I realize it doesn't sound like such a big deal. If you know me well, you know that I am very emotionally balanced. It was a very odd experience. However, I realize that in order to help others, I'm going to have to share again and speak again in front of groups, my presentation will get better and I will continue to try. I continue to have a positive attitude, I have every intention to beat the odds and I maintain a personal mission to provide awareness and education to as many men as possible regarding prostate cancer.
This was sent by a friend today, very timely, very appropriate:
When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
Next Update: Golfing with local radio celebrities!