February 21, 2005

Without comment.....

Like an anvil being dropped on my head, I received the news. My primary care physician and one of Dr. Davis partners called me on Friday. The cancer has spread and is in both my lymph nodes and bone structure.

We have an appointment at noon on Wednesday with Dr. Davis to discuss all of the details and the path we take from here.

The last 72 hours have been surreal. I find myself at times with this feeling that this is a nightmare and I can't wake up, or that I am living this through someone else's body. It is a very strange feeling. Mary and I have tried to just stay busy. It helps because then an hour or two, or three go by. Once they are over though, reality creeps back in.

Friday, I made it through work and headed home. We immediately went to our church for a fish fry. While there our Priest, Fr. Bill, took Mary and I aside and anointed me. It was very unexpected, quite touching and much appreciated. After that we went to her sister and brother in-laws, stayed distracted for a few hours and went home. We got Brad to bed and then something that we both knew was coming happened, we broke down in each others arms. Neither of us slept real well, it was a horrible night.

As much as we both want to remain positive, the "what if's" are right there below the surface.

Saturday I had breakfast with two great friends and because of the rain we skipped disc golf. After that I went home and tried to stay busy all day. Did our taxes (almost completed), took Brad to his basketball game and went bowling. We got home after 10, we're exhausted and slept fairly well considering. Sunday we had breakfast , went to Church and then the three of us went to a wonderful park and walked through the woods for over on hour. Mary is not an "outdoors' women" I really appreciate her sucking it up and going with us!

And so here I am, it's Monday and I pray that the distraction of work will help the next three days go by quickly.

No comments: