What's going down?

Tomorrow is my monthly check-up, you can probably guess I'm a little nervous.

After five years, close to 75 PSA tests, and I would guess over 100 doctors appointments, you might think I would be used to this routine. While the routine is old hat, the anticipation and lead up to the results are something I can't ever imagine getting use to.

This subject is a topic that gets bantered about on some of the Prostate Cancer message boards. I can't express to what extent the quality of men's lives are impacted by this disease. With my case this might sound like a very obvious statement, but there are millions of men out there that have surgery, radiation or just choose to monitor their condition, that go through this anticipation periodically as well. Whether it be every month, quarter or year, these men go through a similar period of time leading up to their test results that mirrors the monthly anguish that I experience anticipating my PSA tests. This is one of the aspects of our experience that the general public may not be able to completely understand. It's very taxing.

I usually do pretty well with this and probably will do so tomorrow, but I do wonder what the results will be. After starting estrogen (DES) ten days ago, this will be my first test. My last test indicated my numbers were increasing rather quickly. On March 14th my PSA was 193 and I didn't begin the Estrogen until March 18th, so my PSA before starting DES was probably over 200. Tomorrow, well we'll see. I don't know how quickly we will see a response to this new treatment. I am struggling to make a clear, concise point and that IS my point.

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I was able to get out today and play disc golf. It was good to see and play with Tim and E again. Eric, it's been far too long! I played pretty good, nothing great, but it was a pain free round. Since starting DES, overall my body feels much better. My hips hurt less and my legs are better and I am still able to avoid the Advil.

Finally, tonight was a good, quiet family night. We caught up on a few things we had recorded and basically just enjoyed the relaxation and each others company. It's Easter week and I look forward to the emotions of the week.

Peace be with you all.