March 04, 2010

One Thousand Eight Hundred and Forty Six Days

Time for a post that is a bit more reflective, if I can muster the emotion, the strength, to dig deep and find the courage to share.

In one sense, the last five years are a blur. I can remember bits and pieces, but lately as I go back and review some of my early blog posts, I find myself emotionally drained. At times perhaps I suffer from a little bit of denial. I really don’t think this is a bad thing, the denial. What other choice do I have? Do I focus on this really lousy diagnosis? Not a chance, that's just not me.

On the other hand, during this review my mind is flooded with the memories, both good and bad, from the past five years. The memories are for the most part good ones. The human mind is a funny, tricky thing.

So today I'm driving to work, my drive is five miles, straight as an arrow south to north. As I leave our subdivision a small flock of ducks catches my eye. Like me they are headed north. I interpret this as a true sign of spring. As I cross each major intersection more and more birds join the flock. As a group they remain above me, growing and growing as we head north. By the time I reached my turn the flock must have reached a thousand. It was a good sign.

So you must be wondering where the heck I am going with this? The flock represented the Prostate Cancer community.We keep growing and growing, unfortunately. Like the interworkings of the flock, the lead bird is ever changing. There is no full time leader.

I know, a little deep, a bit silly, but sometimes I can be deep and silly!

1 comment:

Phillip Charlton said...


Great post. I have learned a great deal from you over the years, although we don't see eachother much. You truly have helped me understand that I cannot put off things that need to be done.

With that though it mind, I visited my doctor yesterday for my 40 year check up and had all the tests done. While he was really trying to explain the next test (digital exam), I stopped him and told him the story of my friend that has taught me so much over the last five years and that I was there not only to protect myself, but to honnor a brave soul fighting a strong fight.

I also got to sing "Moon River" for a few seconds!