March 11, 2005


There are two times during the day/week that are hard for me to fight back emotions; at Mass and during my commute back and forth to work.

With the former, I get through it but it is particularly hard during communion. When my mom passed away two years ago I vowed to forever participate in both "the body and blood" in her honor. It's not a requirement of the church to always take the blood, but again I felt it was something I would do for her. I'm not sure how my priest would feel about that?

My mother was raised Catholic and converted to Lutheranism when she married my father. I was the opposite and was raised Lutheran and converted to Catholicism after Mary and I were married. I understand a little of what she sacrificed, this part of Mass is a struggle some weeks. Also, when I pray after communion is it selfish of me to now pray for myself?

Commuting is a completely opposite experience. Where Mass is the "Faith" aspect, commuting is the "Hope" aspect. If idle, my mind wanders and wonders about what lies ahead, this tends to spiral out of control and so I started listening to music almost exclusively during my commute. Most of the time the music helps me look beyond the next 6-12 months, to the "survivor" stage.

As I have mentioned before I am currently in a rut with Kenny Chesney's most recent album. Most of the songs are about escaping to "the island life", getting away etc. I want to go "there" when this is over. Actually I'd really like to go there now with Mary and sit on the beach and watch sunsets, and walk in the surf, and swim in the ocean.....but only if the salt water would wash away this nightmare.........we're going there when this is over, I have no doubts!

WITHOUT COMMENT: Today it has been one month since it was confirmed that I have Prostate Cancer.....

On a happier note, we received our first order for bracelets! Click on the link to your left, print the form and mail today! Or click here
Yes, forever the salesman......

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