July 09, 2011

Beautiful Day!

I really don't fear my emotions, I embrace them for the most part. However, there are times when they conflict and times when they surface at the wrong place and time.

Right after this picture was taken, right in the midst of the U2 concert, I was briefly struck with a tremendous amount of emotion. I fought it back but it was difficult. I was both happy and anxious.

My joy was the obvious culmination of nearly eighteen months of waiting for the moment to actually happen. The concert was cancelled last summer so we had to wait. In those eighteen months, a lot has happened with me and my battle, and there we were, finally.

At the same time I knew at that moment he and I were making memories. For him there are aspects of that night and the previous day that will last him many, many years, perhaps a lifetime.

For me those two days will also last a life time, but in all likelihood, a more abbreviated one. For you, the reader, this thought might be hard to understand. You might even be questioning, Was he really thinking that, in the middle of the concert?

My eminent demise is a thought that is always there lurking slightly below the surface. I'm a rather seasoned expert of keeping the thought and accompanying emotion at bay, but there it was, and there it remains. It's the elephant in the room around here. I talk about it only occasionally, but think about it often.

So why in the world would I quote the U2 song in the title of this blog and then go on to write a rather striking if not depressing entry? First, because I try to share nearly everything. Secondly, and much more importantly, to show you and those that find this blog next week, next year and so on, that it's ok to have these thoughts and experiences as long as you can keep them in perspective before returning to hope.

'Hope', that which gets us through this and every 'Beautiful Day'.

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day 

Peace be with you all.


Anonymous said...

The difference is that you have some advance notice of your death, whereas most of us don't, so we take things for granted and slog through blindly, without appreciating what we have. As always, thank you for your perspective.

Sherry Luttrell said...

"These things I remember, and I pour out my soul within me" Psalm 42:4a

Music resonates with our emotions- it comes from the very core of our being... it can lift us up and carry us over the toughest roads and deepest waters.

Thank you for sharing. No words, but our hearts are full.

Terence & Sherry

Anonymous said...

I disagree with the anonymous post prior to mine. You do not have advanced notice of your death. You are on notice that you have cancer but that does not have to come with an automatic death sentence. I have been reading your blog since the first entry and I have seen you fight an amazing fight with incredible spirit and faith. You have been given a warning shot across the bow but in no way are you going to let the ship sink without a fight. I do believe in miracles and there are many cancer drugs on the horizon. Keep doing what you do. You are an inspiration to so many.

Swati Mittal said...

Well said Dave!
Hang in there..some thing will work out!

Swati Mittal

perezeliu said...

David - Thank you for the inspiration and perspective. We always have you in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for creating this blog too, it keeps us close to you and helps us confront our existence. Emerson wrote: "Every wall is a door". You have many times helped me find the door. Glad you enjoyed the concert. Best to Brad and Mary.