May 21, 2010

Angels and Demons

Part of my challenge with this blog is trying to come up with a catchy title for each post. Yes they are riddled with clich├ęs but for the most part, I try to make the reader think, "Where the heck is he going now?". However, when they finish they then think, "Oh, I get it!". Let me be clear, I am in no way suggesting I am so clever that this happens all the time, just occasionally. Today is one such occasion.

In the past two weeks the world has lost two wonderful people to breast cancer. One was a former administrative assistant here at work. Though Mary and I didn't know her well, we knew her for a number of years. When she found out my story we had a great chat about being positive and focusing on life and not the disease. When we needed items for our golf tournaments, she was always eager to ask our VP for donations. God bless you Patsy, you are
missed and I was honored to know you.

The next loss is much, much more painful for me personally. I know as I start to write about this that I will cry. When I went through graduate school from1999-2001at Rockhurst University, there was a woman, a true angel that blessed all of us students with her presence. She was the administrator for the ExecutiveMBA department, but that was just a title. For many of us, she was like a mother or grandmother. When she found out about me she called, we talked and she too was positive, reassuring, etc. At that point in 2005 she had already gone through a bout of cancer and had been in remission for some time. We saw each other a few more times at class get togethers and she was always very encouraging to me. At some point, perhaps two years ago, she called me at home one evening out of the blue. She was just 'checking in' but I sensed something more. I didn’t push it. By the time we ran into each other at a Christmas party in December of 2008, I was aware the cancer had returned for her. I asked her about the phone call and she admitted she called to talk, to tell me. She said that after we started to talk, she didn’t feel right about passing her burden on to me. Wow, I again am brought to tears as I remember the phone call, the conversation, the meaning of her actions. Selflessness in it's highest form. I miss you Marian, your smile and your hugs.

On a completely different note, I would like to provide some insight into my current status. In my attempt to remain active I may have crossed the line to OVER active. Two weeks ago, I played disc golf twice during our tournament. I was a little sore, but so was everyone else! Last weekend I played both days, but it rained for most of both rounds. Two things happened; one I picked up some kind of virus and basically spent Sunday afternoon and most of Monday on the sofa feeling achy from head to toe. Additionally, my left hip started hurting with a bit more severity than I have experienced in quite some time.

This problem persists today. Advil helps for about 7 hours but I am trying to go 8 hours between doses. The last hour can be, well lets say interesting! Each day gets a little better, emphasis a little. I am trying to get by until Monday when I have my monthly Oncologist appointment and we can discuss further. I pray this little demon is arthritis but we shall see. It sure is putting a delay in the plans I had for the vegetable garden!

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