Today at Mass something reminded me of a stream of consciousness that I experienced the other night while trying to get back to sleep. At some point this blog turned into more of a diary of my life and less of what's going on within me as I battle Advanced Prostate Cancer. I spend a lot of time writing about disc golf, music, books, movies, etc. and it has been a long time since I let you in my head.
So here we go:
I'm one week into my second treatment of chemotherapy. This one has actually been easier on me than the first. No flu like symptoms this past weekend... it was quite unremarkable (a radiology term I can't believe I just used!). I feel better than I have in months and yet it scares me...What if my PSA number doesn't come down? I'm not in pain, in fact it's just the opposite, but I can't help but wonder what is actually going on inside of me.
I guess I shouldn't doubt or question, it's way too early, but this is my blog and I have had that thought a few times recently. I continue to pray, a lot! I pray for guidance, a cure and peace and comfort for Mary and my family. I talk to God a lot at night. Sometimes I sneak in a request for a cure but I try not to push things, he's a little busy and I'm just one mortal man.
Time is what I ask for the most. Time for Brad to drive and graduate and go to college. Time for Meg to get married and graduate from college herself. Time for Mary and I to grow old together......or at least just a little older. I just couldn't get though this without one musical reference. This Stones song just came to mind; "Time, time, time is on my side...yes it is"
And so there it is....short, not necessarily sweet, but right to the point.