I'm not sure how to begin this or if I should post it at all? The topic is somewhat vague, but then again, it's not. I've been thinking about emotions, and conscious thought and how we as humans deal with tragedies and calamities in our lives.
You all are aware of how I deal with the speed bumps in my life, but I have a friend that is struggling. It's a completely different situation, but the emotions and personal struggle are similar. I look up to him. He is a man who I admire for a number of reasons; because of his intelligence, his humor and his laissez faire approach to life.
It's been a year and I never broached the subject with him. That is until the other day on the phone. As much as that event last spring destroyed him and as much as he struggled to regain a semblance of a life he "thinks about her every minute of every day". I told him that month after month I wanted to reach out and tell him I'm there if he wanted to talk or not, to cry or not, to just sit there in silence, because we could. I just saw him return to his old self and didn’t feel right about asking. Being the selfless, thoughtful soul that he is, his concern was that I have enough going on in my own life. All I could tell him was, "I can handle it, don't ever doubt it, that's what I'm here for!".
It was a very brief conversation, a small step, but one that I hope has opened a door, if only just a crack. In the weeks ahead I have made a promise to myself, to him and to God that I will reach out to him more often. I pray that he hears me and reaches out as well. Perhaps we both will benefit from the experience, I know that I will and I pray that he will as well.
As much as I struggle with the fact I have Cancer (every minute of every day), I continue to find solace and peace in the fact it's not about me or just Cancer. This journey is about people like him and other close friends, it's about complete strangers getting tested, asking questions and becoming educated about prostate cancer and other cancers as well. It's about trying to live another day looking out and around instead of just within.