Guarding my excitement

After receiving a call on Wednesday confirming our appointment in Houston, we scrambled to make the logistical arrangements.
With just 7 days to line everything up, we were scrambling to find airfare that didn't cost us over $1,000!! As he has in the past a very dear friend stepped up with a few frequent flyer certificates. The are some people that can not be thanked enough, he is one!

So now I find my mental state to be somewhat the same as four years ago (see this post). I really hope everything we went through to get this appointment pays off. The doctor we are seeing is the Chair of the Genitourinary department at MD Anderson. He is an extremely accomplished oncologist. We are hoping and praying that he will have insight into a treatment or a trial that fits my case better than others we know about. I write this with extreme caution, as I don't want to get my hopes to high.

In addition, Mary and I ever so slightly disagree on parts of the trip. I personally am ready to try just about anything beyond phase three, placebo controlled trials, She wants to proceed perhaps a little more cautiously. She is concerned about compromising my current quality of life. I'm tired of caution and feel our approach over the last four years have been pretty conservative. As always, we'll take it all in, discuss and come to a decision that we both believe is best.

I know I have said this repeatedly, but at times I can't believe how much I have changed. When I read the post I linked to above, I also read all the posts from April 2005. In some ways the words sound like someone else wrote them. It seems a lifetime ago. So much has changed, yet one crucial thing remains, I still have advanced, non-curable prostate cancer.

It's spring in Kansas City and I love it. I didn't have to look too far over the past two days to appreciate this; the red bud trees are blooming, spring flowers are everywhere and the sound of lawn mowers filled the air. I look forward to rose blooms, moon flowers, fresh garden vegetables and cool spring nights sleeping with the windows ajar. The sound of trains throughout the night and birds in the morning. For me, it's THE time of year!
It's also Holy Week. With that comes so many reminders of the sacrifices that were made for each and every one of us. I plan to make time this week to further reflect on what this means to me and how my faith had gotten me though the last four years.