I wish I could say "I remember it like it was yesterday", but I don't!
I know I was in a conference room in a previous job. I know Dr. D was out of town and I raised a bit of a stink with his office staff. I knew the biopsy results were back but the staff wanted me to wait to talk with the Dr regarding the results and I did NOT want to wait another four or five days for him to return.
One of his partners called me back and dropped the news... dropped the bomb, "You have cancer ...blah, blah, blah…" whatever else he added was moot. My mind was a blur, I was a mess. Some how I made it through that day and the 1,460 that have since followed.
So here I sit, four years later about to embark on year five of this journey I wish it would have never begun. I have no sorrow, I live with no regrets. I am just a man looking forward, but never too far because of the unknown. What will happen next week, next month or in four more years remains a mystery. What allows me to sleep most nights is the fact that not knowing what lies ahead makes me no different than the rest of you. Plan as you may, you just never know what's going to happen.
There is a writer for the New York Times, Dana Jennings. He too is keeping a blog about his PCa experience. Though his diagnosis and subsequent treatment are far different than mine, today's post hit close to home. You should go read it at:
'Love in the Time of Prostate Cancer'
His last line says it all:
"In the long shadow of prostate cancer, I’ve learned that I married the right woman."
Though I might have changed it to:
"In the long shadow of prostate cancer, I’m reminded that I married the right woman."