Mary Christmas

I don't spend a lot of time in this forum discussing her. Why? Maybe that topic and the immediate feelings and emotions that surface hit just a little to close to home?

What can I say, I found, courted, married and remain devoted to my perfect match. Braggadocio aside, I know this doesn't happen very often these days, I realize how lucky we are. We are not perfect, we have flaws like everyone but she is clearly the ying to my yang.

Have I told you she is by my side for every doctor appointment? Yesterday I had my monthly blood draw, Oncologist appointment and Zometa treatment. There she was, as beautiful as ever. Always positive, always encouraging me, always hoping for the best results.

I can only guess what this does to her? The constant worry, pressure, what's next, what if's etc. Everyday I thank God for bringing her into my life, where would I be without her? How the hell would I get through this alone?

Several times during this ordeal we have had what I'll refer to as our "reality" talk. A dreaded discussion where we finally verbalize the "what if's?". You can only imagine the emotions that pour out. When it's over however, it feels good. We are human we have to release from time to time. I feel another one coming at some point over the holidays. However, who knows? When I get my PSA number today or tomorrow, if it's down again or stable, maybe we will glide through the holidays?

She is my angel,
She is my life.
She is my strength,
She is my power.
She is my reason,
She is my everything.