May 26, 2005

My Gibraltar, My Navigator

Many years ago I had a college literature professor whom I connected with immediately. It was a summer school class, I was in my late twenties, the rest of the class was made up of 19 and 20 year olds. We talked often after class about both what we were reading (Nathaniel Hawthorne, Willa Cather, Washington Irving, and other 19th century American authors) and about life, family, etc. It was during these discussions that he mentioned something that has stayed with me since; after one of our discussions about family health, he asked "What would you do if something happened to your wife? Was I prepared? Had I ever given it a thought?" In the end, he suggested I should go through the routine mentally, not to obsess with it or worry about it, but ask myself "What would I do if something ever happened?"

In addition to these discussions, Mary and I have joked back and forth for many years about outliving each other. We were always firm that we were truly soul mates and would go on alone. I still plan to outlive her and the actuary tables will need to be adjusted!

Never, during either of these "mental exercises" did I imagine I would be at this place.

I have been trying to put myself in her shoes lately, it's unimaginable for me. Many of you have commented on my strength and inspiration, you too cannot imagine hers. She has never wavered from her positive attitude, she encourages me on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis. She is my rock, she is my Gibraltar!

Furthermore, as I have discussed before, after first being diagnosed, I looked down the road, saw the fork and with her help we took the path we are on today. There have been many other forks in our lives together, and she was instrumental in my choice so many other times. She has been there and will continue to be for many, many years and through many, many choices! We both believe in fate and predetermined paths, God blessed me with her and I am eternally grateful to him for doing so! He drew the map and blessed me with her as a navigator/co-pilot through my life journey.

1 comment:

Mary said...

Hi, it's me, the navigator. I just wanted to let you know that I love you more than ever. Thank you for such a nice testimony and for inviting me to share your journey 14 years ago.