February 02, 2012

7 year itch, of a different type

Today is the 7th anniversary of my blog. Seven years, almost 700 entries later, and I’m still here.
The last line of my first ever post holds more true today than ever:
But I worry about them both emotionally and psychologically. I can't imagine going on without her or him, it saddens me deeply. I pray a lot more than I ever have..... 
Physically, the seven years and eight different types of treatment for this disease have taken their toll. Not being able to play disc golf or even work out gets to me. The lack of both make me feel lethargic at times. I want to do more, but can’t in some cases and shouldn’t in others.

A friend said today, ‘I don’t know how you get through one or two of the side effects, and you’re dealing with all four’. I told Mary the other night that I am so sick of it (the side effects). Just like always though. I trudge along and just keep praying that the reduced dosage, or one of the new meds, or a combination of the two will end at least one of the side effects. That alone would be a huge burden lifted from my shoulders.

You know the saying “If I could go back and do “x” over again, I wouldn’t change a thing…..” in this case I’m calling BS early and often. I’d change most of the last ten years if I knew it wouldn’t lead me here, now. At times it just sucks, this is one of those times.
Though it started this way, this post isn’t going to be 100% about me being sorry for myself. There are so many other good things in life that I celebrate on a daily basis. I have a wife and son that I love dearly. I have family and friends that remain close and are so very important to me. I live in a world so full of hope and possibilities I have to stop and appreciate that fact from time to time.

Novena to Saint Peregrine
Oh great Saint Peregrine, you who have been called "The Mighty" and "The Wonder-Worker" because of the numerous miracles which you have obtained from God for those who have had recourse to you. For so many years you bore in your own flesh this cancerous disease that destroys the very fiber of our being, and who had recourse to the source of all grace when the power of man could do no more. You were favored with the vision of Jesus coming down from His Cross to heal your affliction. Ask of God and Our Lady, the cure of these sick persons whom we entrust to you.

Aided in this way by your powerful intercession, we shall sing to God, now and for all eternity, a song of gratitude for His great goodness and mercy. Amen.


Marylanders said...

Thank you for trudging on to year 8! You have no idea how much your words strngthen all of us following in your footsteps. Praying for healing of body, mind, and spirit for all those living with the Big C.

Laura said...

I am a student at the University of St Andrews, Scotland and I am currently doing a research project on the role of online blogs for individuals impacted by cancer. I was wondering whether I could talk to you about your opinions and your efforts.

I hope that my research will promote online blogging as a critical resource and increase its awareness.

Please email me back if you would like to take part.

Thanks in advance :)

Sherry Luttrell said...

Hi David,
In a cancer world that is sucky- you have friends who understand what you are going through.
I am so sorry for your distress and am so grateful to see how you always try to look beyond it. To me, that is a man of depth; one who understands where your strength comes from.

Many blessings to you and your family-
we pray for you every day-
Terence & Sherry

Anonymous said...

Hi David sorry you (and I) have to go through this. We all do different things when we're feeling down. For most of my journey all I ever needed was some alone recovery time and I'd bounce right back; maybe some favorite music; or some humorous comment like your reply to a reporter about the last few years "...how great it's been,except for this cancer thing".

Lately for you and me it's been getting tougher even with all the great things going on in our lives. Today I find Sherry's words in the previous comment to be excellent and it's the support of friends like her that mean the most I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are so inspirational to so many people. This Sunday as I receive my first communion I will say a prayer for you.


Anonymous said...

David you are truely inspirational to so many. My God bless you and hold you forever. We are praying for your complete healing. Your attitude and approach to this personal ordeal shows is amazingly inspirational. May God bless you and yours. Keep the faith.